Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
