Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
