I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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