would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
