i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
