Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
