Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
