I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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