smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
