her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
