I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
