The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wish you could order shots online.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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