Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
