I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
