grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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