Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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