If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
