im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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