Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
