Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
