I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
