i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she looked like the before picture.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
