I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
