The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
high people should be assigned attendants
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
