Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
