I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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