oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
