I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
