Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
