dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
