dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
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