I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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