zippers are such a cool invention
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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