If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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