Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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