There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
