people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
