I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
