and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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