Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
