Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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