I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
