cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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