Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
