I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
