My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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