i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
