i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
