Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
