And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
